The beauty of Pirkei Avot lies not only in its ethical teachings, but also in how it guides us as Jews in living our lives. In particular, there are a number of Mishnayot throughout Pirkei Avot that allude to different pragmatic elements of Jewish Law (Halacha). One such example can be found in Chapter 3 Mishna 4. Here, Rabbi Shimon teaches that three people that ate at the same table and did not share words of Torah, it is as if they had eaten on the table of the sacrifices of dead idols. In other words, Rabbi Shimon continues the theme of Chapter Three of Pirkei Avot focusing on the importance of Torah study. After all, how could three people come together and eat and not share words of Torah with each other?! In fact, one could even suggest that Rabbi Shimon in Mishna 4 is building upon the teaching of Rabbi Chanina of Mishna 3 that two that sit together and do not share words of Torah are considered to be like a company of scoffers, a Moshav Leitzim. Rabbi Shimon builds on this teaching and intensifies it, by suggesting that a focus on Torah study is not just a matter of priorities, but rather it affects one’s entire way of life. Not sharing Torah when dining together turns a person’s table into an abomination like the alter of idol worship. Both Rabbi Chanina and Rabbi Shimon emphasize that Torah study is not limited to the Beit Midrash, the study halls, or to our Synagogues, or schools. Torah study has the ability to infuse every aspect of our life. Torah is just as basic to life as sitting and eating a meal at one’s table.
All that being said, it is interesting to compare Rabbi Chanina and Rabbi Shimon’s teaching. The differences between the two are very obvious—Rabbi Chanina discusses a case of two people sitting together, whereas Rabbi Shimon discusses a case of three people dining together. Yet, if Rabbi Shimon was hoping to intensify and increase the teaching of Rabbi Chanina, why does he change the quantity from two to three? Why does Rabbi Shimon mention three people? What is so special about three?
It is clear from the context of the rest of the Mishna that Rabbi Shimon’s focus is not on the quantity of people gathered, but rather on the action for which they are gathering—eating a meal. Seen from this perspective, it becomes quite obvious as to why Rabbi Shimon discusses specifically three people that ate together. The Mishna in Berachot (7:1) writes that, “Shlosha SheAchlu KiAchat, Chayavin LiZamen” ; “Three people that ate together are obligated to make a ‘Zimun.’” In other words, when three people eat together, prior to reciting the Grace After Meals (Birkat HaMazon or ‘bentching’), they make a formal introduction to the Birkat HaMazon known as the ‘Zimun.’ The Gemara in Berachot (45a) explains that by inviting each other to recite Birkat HaMazon together through the formal Zimun, the collective praise to G-d is greater now that it has been done through a group. It is this custom that serves as the basis for the notion that Kol Mili DiKedusha BaIy HaZmana, that all words of holiness require HaZmana, or words of introduction (see the Zohar as quoted by the Magen Avraham in Orach Chaim 192:1 for a more detailed analysis).
Rabbi Shimon is thus emphasizing three people that ate together, because less than that constitutes halachikally a non-communal meal. One or two people eating together are just individuals. Three or more are required to formally introduce Birkat HaMazon through the Zimun, which now transforms this group of individuals into one single collective. Rabbi Shimon is teaching that it is an abomination not to share words of Torah at such a group and communal meal/gathering.
Under this framework of ‘Zimun’ are a number of very interesting and challenging questions. For example, what happens when there are only two people that are obligated to recite Birkat HaMazon (i.e. they ate bread) but the third did not? Must one recite the Zimun in such a situation? So far, we have only discussed three people that have gathered together in a meal. Do the rules of Zimun apply the same to men and women? Can a woman be a part of a men’s Zimun and vice-versa?
While this concept of Zimun—something that is done with regularity at many homes—may seem basic and simple, there are in face many intricate details and laws as they pertain to the many different scenarios. According to most authorities, the obligation to make a Zimun is Rabbinic in nature. We see just how intricate these laws are in that the Shulchan Aruch (Code of Jewish Law) actually discusses the laws of Zimun over many different Simanim (Chapters): For example Siman 192 – General Laws of Zimun, Siman 193 – Who is included in a Zimun, Siman 194 – What to do when three that ate together but then split up, Siman 195 – Can large groups at different tables join the same Zimun? And many more. While an in depth discussion of the details of these laws are beyond the focus of this discussion, some highlights include:
- If two people sit together and eat bread, it is a “Mitzvah” to find a third person to eat with them so they can make a Zimun. (Mishna Berura 193:7)
- If two people sit together and eat bread, they may include a third person in the Zimun even if he does not want to eat bread, so long as he eats or drinks something (other than water) with them. This third person who has joined the other two without eating bread, sits with the others through the Zimun and remains seated until after the conclusion of the first blessing of Birkat HaMazon. (Mishna Berura 197:22)
- Preference for leading the Zimun is given to either a Kohen or a Torah Scholar. When there is both a Kohen and a Torah Scholar, there is no reason to choose a Kohen over a Torah Scholar. In fact, a Torah Scholar takes precedence to an uneducated Kohen (Shulchan Aruch 201:4).
- Interestingly, the Gemara in Berachot (53b) teaches that there is a special Mitzvah in being the ‘Mezamen’ ; ‘the one that leads the Zimun.’ In fact Rav Huna taught his son that if he is honored with an offer to perform the Zimun he should grab the Mitzvah.
Perhaps the most intriguing of all of the laws as they pertain to the Zimun is in regards to women. Can, and in what capacity, a woman be a part of a Zimun? Amazingly, many believe that three women that gather together to form a Zimun is simply the product of modern feminism and has no basis in traditional Jewish Law. More than that, many believe that when such a group of women do form a Zimun, the men present should either leave, or certainly not answer. Sadly those who share those beliefs are greatly misinformed and incorrect.
The Gemara in Arachin (3a) teaches that the statement “all are obligated in Zimun” comes to include women. Similarly, the Gemara in Brachot (45b) discusses that women are not included in a regular Zimun and instead should form their own Zimun. (It goes without saying that a woman can answer the Zimun of a group of men to fulfill her obligation. This relates to a larger discussion as to whether or not women are equally included in a Torah-level obligation of Birkat HaMazon). It is clear from these texts of the Gemara that not only is there no Halachik prohibition to women forming a Zimun in a group of three women, but rather the opposite is true—perhaps a real obligation exists for women to create a Zimun. Interestingly, Tosafot (Brachot 45b) questions why many medieval women did not recite the Zimun despite these laws. Perhaps he suggests some scholars assumed that a Zimun was optional for women, as most women were illiterate and incapable of leading the Zimun to begin with. As a side note, Tosafot does bring down a number of female members of scholarly families that did in fact perform the Zimun. It is based on these teachings that the Vilna Gaon writes in Orach Chaim 199:7 that a women’s Zimun is not just an option, but rather is obligatory.
Similarly, there is little question as to whether a man can be present at a table in which there is a women-led Zimun. In fact, there seems to be little question as to whether a man can ‘answer’ (respond to the appropriate communal passages) to a women-led Zimun. Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Auerbach writes in Halichot Beitah that if three or more women form a Zimun, there is no reason why one or two men that are present cannot remain and answer to this Zimun. Other modern Torah luminaries such as Rav Soloveitchik as well as Rabbi Aharon Lichtenstein agree that a man can answer to a women’s Zimun. Rabbi Dovid Feinstein offers a slight variation on this opinion and writes that men can respond but should answer as “outsiders” and not with the classic formulation as they would with a men-led Zimun. In any case, not only should women lead a Zimun when appropriate, it is clear that men can be present and can participate.
Based on all of the above, there is great controversy around the inclusion of women in a joint (men and women) Zimun. In other words, a Zimun made up of 2 men and 1 woman. While some commentaries such as the great Halachik work the Tur (Rabbi Yaakov ben Asher), suggest in Orach Chaim 199 that a woman can count towards the quorum of three, normative practice does not allow for this to occur for a number of reasons beyond the scope of this discussion.
Given the level of detail and importance that the Rabbis in the Talmud and Jewish Law put on the Zimun and a gathering of three people, it is easy to understand Rabbi Shimon’s comment in Pirkei Avot. Our communal recitation of Birkat HaMazon following a meal allows us to not only share words of Torah with each other, but also allows us to praise G-d in the most public and appropriate way. When we eat a meal filled with Torah and Birkat HaMazon, we emphasize that our true sustenance in this world is not our food, but rather G-d and the holy Torah.